I have become

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Floating along.
My exams are done, I'm alone, three days to do what I want, one of my best friends is coming back to my school after being homeschooled for half of the year.
This morning I was quite disgruntled, I don't know why, but for some reason... I just wanted to be with someone, someone who would hold me, I guess, and just be with me and talk to me, it's frustrating to think about this because I know nothing good will come of that, it'll make me temporarily happy, nothing else.
plus I don't want all that, it's not me. It's not who I am. I'm the person everyone knows will be single forever, I have to learn not to get over my constant loneliness, I'm alone all the time, so I'd better start getting used to it. I'm a complete introvert, but I have these extroverted tendencies, like getting excited about an idea I have and telling people about it. But mainly I'm an introvert.
I can't explain...
this is not how I am.

Song of the day is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.